Even writing this seems weird- I think I've stopped bothering to keep a calendar mostly because time passes so quickly, it seems like I'm switching months every time I go to my desk.
Three things I've been thinking about- the lessons I've learned from the
PAST, the
PRESENT, and the
FUTURE.
THE PAST-
learning to separate the past from realityThere have been several major points this past year that have taught me a lot about the nature of time in our lives. Basically I've had trouble
letting go of the past- what I was comfortable with- and
accepting reality- essentially the fact that I've reached a different stage in my life, and I have to face it moving forward, as opposed to running backwards.
1. Graduating from high school + entering UniversityNot only did I have to switch schools, but there's a totally different mentality with university. I'm not studying to necessarily be the best in school and make my parents happy. It's more than that. I'm in school now to prepare for the rest of my life- to choose my career. No more simple childhood dreams of being an author or artist or doctor- this is the real thing now. Whatever choice I make here is going to affect the way I live the rest of my life.
2. Turning 18I can't hide behind my parents anymore. I'm a legal adult, and I have to start being responsible for myself. Fortunately, I still get to live at home for the next few years. But I'm not a child anymore, and I can't act like one either. I've got to step up and get used to being in a different stage from say, my baby sister.
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THE PRESENT-
being thankfulGrowing up is hard, and I completely agree with
Lokyan and what she said in her latest post- when the 2012 World Junior Championships come around in Edmonton, we'll be 20...a bit too old to be checking out the boys on the team. So depressing. LOL. But it's such an apt microcosm (I know, ENGLISH, forgive me...) of
growing up- I can't turn back time. From now on, all the NHL draft picks are going to be younger than me. So why waste the effort mourning over the past? I bet I'll be mourning about being 18 when I'm...like 23 or something.
1. still being 18?So I'm very thankful for the life I have right now. I have it so easy, getting older should be the least of my worries.
2. workingI've learned that money is hard to come by, but is really easy to get rid of. I guess it was a bit of pride, but this year I decided I didn't want to rely on my parents for money at all. I was going to pay for school, my own stuff and Chelsey's extravagant desires (*cough* Lululemon sweaters *cough*) by working my butt off. But it's hard. I'm young, so I get paid minimum wage...meaning I rack up a lot of hours in order to get a decent paycheck. And by the time I tithe, pay for insurance, and put away necessary savings for school etc., my monthly spending money is practically NOTHING. So all those dreams of having a nice house, with nice clothes, and traveling the world? I'm going to have to work VERY HARD to achieve all those. So I'm thankful for how much my parents have supported me so far...I realize I am very expensive. And they've been paying for me for 18 years.
3. Friends and FamilyI have to put out a HUGE shout out to all my friends. Thank You. I don't know how I would have survived the past few years without you guys. The good times and laughter we have shared has been such a boost to my spirit. I've enjoyed getting to know everyone, and learning all the little quirks and twists that make you YOU. And as the years have passed, and the changes we go through (*cough* Ray *cough*), it makes me appreciate your friendship even more. And to the one who boarded me when we were 11, and the one with the voice of a nightingale, thanks for always being there. I may not always have drama to share, but just knowing that I can talk to you guys about ANYTHING is such a comfort to me. I hope I've been there for you as you have been there for me.
And to my family, I love you guys. We're all we have this side of the world, and I'm so glad that y'alls will always love me no matter what. Unconditional love is such a precious thing, and I want to make you guys proud.
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THE FUTURE-
trusting GodResolution time...
1. Walk with GodI don't want to pray for guidance in the direction I choose to go in anymore. I want to walk by His side and follow HIS direction- because I know that wherever He goes, He's got a plan that's bigger and better than anything I could ever imagine. Jeremiah 29:11 sums it up perfectly. Sure I don't know where He's going- but that's where faith and trusting in His wisdom comes in. Even though I may not end up where I thought, if it's what God wills, then I know it's the perfect place for me.
2. Grow in wisdomThree ways: wisdom in money management, time management, and people interaction.
3. Get driver's licenseNot really a resolution, but something that definitely needs to get done this year. My dad wants to get me a car by next year, so...old junk car here I come...
